


It's a Fair Trade, Don't Ya Think?

by WhoInWhoville



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Baby!Fic, Crack, F/M, Silly, T-Shirts, Where the heck did this come from?, and husband's wearing stuff for years and years turn into this?, but really really minor, how did a conversation about needing new clothes, just a punchline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8587513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: Crack. TenToo collects t-shirts and they are taking over the house.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kelkat9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/gifts), [Bittie752](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittie752/gifts).



It’s a Fair Trade, Don’t Ya Think?

After Bad Wolf Bay, it doesn’t take long for the Doctor and Rose to fall into married life. (‘Let’s get married, Rose! The one adventure that I thought I could never have!”)

And along with married life came married life squabbles.

“Rose, would you _puhlease_ set out new bath towels after you wash them? I hate getting stuck without a towel after a shower!”

“Yeah, well I’ll replace the towels when you stop leaving them on the floor. I only wash them so frequently because they get stinky and musty.”

“And I’ll stop leaving them on the floor when you wash your face at night, and stop staining the pillowcases with your eyelash… stuff. Getting that stuff out when I wash the bedding is harder than that time I had to peel that dried Xylonian phlegm off of my suit!”

And then there was the biggest one of all. His t-shirts. And not just the fact that some of them were ratty and downright embarrassing… It was the sheer _volume_ of them. 

“Another one? Where you gonna put it, huh? You’ve taken over three quarters of the dresser. They’re hanging up in the wardrobe. Hanging up! Who hangs up t-shirts? And then there’s box full of ‘em in the attic. Hopefully when the TARDIS is ready, she’ll give you a t-shirt room that’s even bigger on the inside than she is!”

“Well that doesn’t even make any sense, Rose. How can something be bigger on the inside than the space it occupies that’s bigger on — Oh wait, I like that idea. I think I might just try to figure out how to do that.”

“But in the meantime, we really need the space, Doctor.”

“But they remind me of happy times, Rose. Each one has meaning. A precious memory attached to the cotton or cotton-spandex blend. I thought you liked the cotton-spandex blend ones. They cling to my lean physique. You’ve been _looking_. You _like_ it,” he teased.

“Shut up.” She blushed.

“He pushed out his lower lip, and took both of her hands into his. “Rose, so many of them remind me of… us.”

She barked a laugh. “You are _so_ full of it. You’re showing off. You’re showing off _all_ of those marathons and charity races you’ve won. Every weekend it’s a new one. Do you really think that the Former Royals Trust is in dire need of funding?”

“Oh but Rose, have you seen their garden mazes? _Completely_ overgrown. It’s a disgrace.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Okay. I love that you run. You’re born for running. It makes you happy! And that makes _me_ happy.” She hugged him, and kissed his cheek. “But could you run and just not bring a t-shirt home? At least not every time?” 

His plump lower lip appeared again. “But I _love_ t-shirts. Everyone should have a collection.” He grinned. “You collect TsumTsums, and I collect t-shirts!”

“But Doctor, I can fit my _entire_ collection in one wicker basket. Plus, Tony loves playing with the Star Wars ones when he comes over. And you talk about memories? I got half of ‘em on cannon jumps. You can’t get some of ‘em here. Like the Anastasia one. Disney only made it in _one_ other reality. Same with Giselle from the Swan Princess. The prince didn’t have such a horrible haircut in the Disney version. Was sorta good looking even. Reminded me of you. And the Princesses on Parade dresses didn’t look like they should be worn by bridesmaids in 1995.” She challenged his pout with doe-eyes and a tipped head while she slowly ran her fingers through the brown strands. “Please, Doctor. We’re being overrun. Could you choose, oh, half of them to give away?” 

He sighed and shuffled his feet.

“But the memories, Rose. I’m so much more sentimental this time round. I thought you _liked_ that I was so sentimental. I remember every holiday, every anniversary. You are showered with flowers and—“

She thought for a moment. “I have an idea. How about this. For every shirt you choose to get rid of, you get to trade it in for a portrait. I’ll put on the shirt, you take a picture, and then… you can peel the t-shirt _off_ and find out what’s underneath.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Only if you promise I won’t find _anything_ underneath.”

“Deal.” She fiddled with the knot of his tie. “How about you go pick your first t-shirt.”

He made a happy noise. “I know just the one. Holes in the collar, you hold it up to the light and can see through it. I suppose I could part with the Professional Clown Workforce Reentry Training Programme shirt. The picture of the clown on the front _is_ pretty creepy.” He shuddered, and scurried off to find the shirt.

_FIVE MONTHS LATER_

“But Rose, I won’t give this one up! I just can’t! It means too much to me.”

“You scared Tony half to death when you wore it last week. Shame on you for jumping out of his closet wearing that glow-in-the -dark Incredible Hulk t-shirt.”

“But it’s not a charity shirt. This wasn’t some rubbish freebie run shirt that wears out after a few washes. I got this one at Glasgow Comic-Con!” He lowered his voice, and nodded seriously. “Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno _both __signed it, Rose.”_

“Oh whatever. But you have to choose two this time.”

“Why two? That’s _so_ unfair, and it violates our contract.”

“Thing is, you’ve given up a _lot_ of t-shirts. And I’m really happy about that. But I have some news. According to our very thorough and very _private_ photographic record of the Great T-Shirt Disposal Project, something really amazing happened somewhere between bedazzled Stormtrooper and The Natural Fox Eradication Education 5k.” She pulled a tiny t-shirt from under her pillow. (The pillow case had mascara-stains.)

“I heart my Daddy’s t-shirts,” he read.

She bit her lip. “A new little t-shirt collector is gonna arrive the week of Christmas.”

“Oh, Rose. That’s just… brilliant! Christmas week! That coincides with the Jingle Bell Elf run! Elf t-shirt!”


End file.
